In the News

I did this a while ago, and thought it was time for another installment of things that had happened in my neck of the woods that were newsworthy.  Or somebody thought they were, anyway!

1.  A couple of weeks ago, in a small town about an hour, hour & a half away from here, 6 women held a man captive in a thrift store (until the police could arrive).  Why?  He had been watching women try on clothes through a peep hole!  Way to go, women!

2.  Remember the bear story:  a bear was euthanized because he bit a tourist who had gotten too close to him.  The tourist was trying to get a picture of the bear, and the bear ended up biting him on the foot.  Well, Mr. Tourist was back in the news last week: he was being cited for "disturbing a wild animal".  What did the tourist have to say about the bear dying?  He said it was unfortunate, but apparently it wasn't his fault.  You see, he blamed  people that  may or may not have fed the bear in the past for "taming" the bear.  He apparently wants to be some kind of hero, because he said he was glad  it was him  instead of a kid.  The bite didn't even draw blood, but I guess a bite is a bite.  Here's the kicker:  The tourist had just received his Environmental Studies  Hmmmm...

3.  In another town about an hour away from here, a man robbed a bank, then proceeded to crash into 3 police cruisers, tossing the evidence out in the road as he crashed.  He flipped his truck a few times after  he decided to cross the median to go the wrong way down the interstate.  His name?  He told them it was "John Doe". No police officers were injured, but "John" will be going to jail...after he gets out of the hospital!

4.  In the big city close by, the city council  put off voting on city residents having chickens used for laying eggs.  There will be a limit to how many they can have (6), and the residents have  to keep the coops clean and smell-free.  Okay, let me say this:  How in the world do you keep a chicken coop from  smelling?  The council did approve goats in a couple of parks.  They will be used for eating the kudzu that apparently are taking over the parks.

5.  I don't get the newspaper delivered to the house;  I check online for the news.  The picture that was on the online front page edition of the newspaper showed 2 local girls in front of a movie poster.  Guess what the movie was?  (I'm sure most of you guessed correctly!)  Eclipse.  One middle schooler (who was wearing a shirt with "Wolf Girl" on it) was quoted as saying, " He's awesome, because he's a real man — he don't sparkle".  Really, newspaper?  Could you have not used quotes and paraphrased what the girl said...with correct grammar?

So, has there been anything outside of the ordinary in your newspaper lately?


  1. Careful Mary. By the sounds of things in those articles, I'd say your surrounded. But I won't say by what or whom....

    I love a good Southern newspaper!

  2. LOL @ number 5!! You mean you aren't use to seeing such quotes around these parts? There is one of our local news stations that is notorious for interviewing (what we call) back woods folks and it drives me crazy!

  3. "He don't sparkle?" A real man? Hello, he is a wolf. :0

    our headline news always crack me up. We stopped getting the paper delivered because it was such a joke at how they always messed up the stories.
    I try to avoid the news...if it is really important, someone will tell me.

  4. Enjoyed your headlines. I had to chuckle! Fun idea.

    until next time... nel

  5. Some people. I try to avoid the news. It gets me too fired up by the stupidity of people.

  6. The chicken one reminds me of a law passed in the UK a while ago. All pig farmers must now provide toys for their pigs to play with.

  7. What's that saying: Truth is stranger than fiction?

    We stopped getting the newspaper because we were concentrating more on the mistakes/errors than on the news!

    But I had heard about the peeping tom...somewhere close to me, I think.

  8. This is GREAT! Please repeat this every so often. Gave me a great laugh!

  9. We have had the chicken issue here in our town (about 20,000). I'm not sure what the outcome is, but I guess I'll find out if my neighbors get a rooster that starts waking me up in the morning.

  10. Oh. my. lands. #1 = Creepy! A lot goin' on in your small town, Mary. :) I can only take the news in small doses.

  11. Grammar aside, you'd think they could have found a real story! :)


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